Friday, June 21, 2013

5 Things I am NOT Going to Miss When We Move

Disclosure: The things listed here are not THAT bad. They are just comical....annoyingly comical at worst, so I figured I would share.

So the 5 things I won't miss are:

1. The nearby Walmart. I am not a fan of ANY Walmart, but ours is the worst. I am not kidding when I tell you that EVERY time I go there, some scoundral in the parking lot tries to scam me.

Here are a few examples:
  • A guy tried to tell me he was doing a promotion for Sephora and "today only" I could get $175.00 worth of makeup for just $50.00. Hmmm...a man selling Sephora in the WALMART parking lot, without a Sephora outfit, and without his products in a Sephora bag???? Ohhhhkaaaay.

  •  A lady wanted to use my cell phone because her car broke down and also asked for a few dollars so she could get a cigarette. I did not give her any money or let her use my phone because she seemed suspicious. Good thing I didn't because... I saw her a few weeks later in the SAME place at the SAME Walmart and she again asked to use my phone because her car broke down and then she asked if I had any money for gas. Gas money...and your car is broken????

2. German Shepards. Gizmo HATES the dogs across the street and their owner walks them EVERY hour of the day (a small exaggeration, but not by much).

This is how my day goes sometimes:

One of my babies will cry. I put said baby to sleep. German Shepard passes. Gizmo loses his freaking mind. Baby wakes up. Baby cries. Repeat.

3. Our Home Owners Association.
  • We have a yard sale. I spend 30 min putting up signs only to have a guy in a golf cart on my trail taking the signs down. So oh yes, we can have a yard sale, but we can't put up signs telling anyone WHERE IT IS.

  • Flags. We can only put up a flag 4 days per year. The lady up the street can keep a plastic duck in her yard and dress it for every season, but a flag? It better be a national holiday!

4. The local A&W. I have spent more time since we have lived here as a pregnant person than a non- pregnant person. My craving of choice while pregnant is a root beer float. The following things have happened over the course of 2 years:

  • Out of ice cream

  • Out of root beer. Out of root beer at a place known for root beer????

  • Out of the frosty cold mugs (and you know how much better it is when its in the mug).

  • Out of ice.

  • They gave us diet root beer when we wanted regular.

  • They had box fans running to cool the July.

  • Once they took about 14 minutes (who's counting) to come to the drive thru window.

  • Bathrooms broken.

  • Dirty.

Note: They have had a "Manager Wanted" sign up for about a year now....wonder why?
5. White carpets. Three kids and a dog DO NOT mesh well with any color carpet, let alone white!!!

Incidentally, if you would like to know how to remove Koolaid or anything red from your carpet... wet a white towel, lay it over the stain and then iron the towel. It will soak it right up. It might take a while, but it will work. I am an expert in this area.

P.S. Our new house has NO carpeting at all. Thank you Lord!!

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